During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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