i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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