dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
