I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
