Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
