Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
