Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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