I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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