i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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