Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
