I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
