Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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