What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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