Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
