oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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