Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
