if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
