Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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