dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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