i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
