I've blown a few things in my day
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
