All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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