How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
