Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
