Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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