She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
