I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
