sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
