i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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