apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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