Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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