I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
