He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I haven't been this sober since birth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
