Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
love makes seman taste better
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
