I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
