I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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