dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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