I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
should my penis look like a turkey
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
