fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
