How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
