So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
