"it" just moved
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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