so explain again why im purple
no
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Is it penis luge time yet?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
