Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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