Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
