Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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