It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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