Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
