just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm sobbing to NWA
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
