Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
