I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
