Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
