i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize