I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You're earring is so big in my mouth
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
